Ending My Return To Saturn And Moving On

I am not exactly sure where I am going at the moment. I don't find this surprising in the least and neither does anyone who knows me at all. Over the past 18 months or so I have gone through a lot of change. I had my return to Saturn, which was a little harder than I expected and finally ended this weekend. I lot a boy I loved. My daughter grew up and moved out. I made some stupid decisions. I lost everything I owned. I found the bottom of my sole.  

Enough about that. I attended an event this weekend that was almost a year in the making. I experienced things this weekend that most normal people cant even dream about. I danced in the Thunderdome, spun fire hoop for the Death Guild,  cleaned an area of desert that had been neglected, endured harsh temperatures without complaint, and made peace with some of my own inner demons. I met amazing people, spent time with friends that I am going to miss and thoroughly enjoyed everything the universe had to offer me.

I had no idea that my return to Saturn would end abruptly on this note after such an amazing weekend. But sure as shit, I got home and read my horoscope only to find that it ended with Just Another Desert Party. Fitting, ironic, coincidental and mysterious, it makes sense in its own romantic way.

So here I sit, quite impatiently, ready to put my new plan of action into motion. I decided a few weeks before Just Another Desert Party that I was going to move to Tucson with my best friend. My situation in the valley sucks at the moment, I have had a serious lack of relationships to fulfill my life, and I just generally know I need to get away.

My truck is packed. My whole life is in there. OMG my entire life fits into a Nissan Pathfinder. Tomorrow I leave to embark on the new chapter. I dont know what makes me think it will be different, I just feel it somehow. I think my intuition is finally right about something. Hopefully.

There are certain things I am going to vow to do right now in the next chapter of life.

First thing is blog-often.
Second thing is Squidoo-every single day.
Third-hoop every single day
Fourth- improve financial life.
Fifth - improve my life

Maybe in that order...maybe not. But I am not returning to the valley without having checked all these things off my list.

Lastly, I have something to say to that boy. He knows who he is. I love you with all my stupid, broken little heart. I hope you come home someday. I hope we can be at peace someday. I hope you figure out what you want someday. Good luck on all the adventures you have until then and please dont forget about me.